The Power of Asking for Help

I just finished a wellness coaching session, which testifies again to the power of resource, and specifically, to resourcing others.  My client Megan* had such a busy work week running the retail store that she owns that she neglected exercise and ate mindlessly.

She was so frustrated with herself that her diaphragm felt constricted and her hands were jittery, as if she had too much caffeine.  The metaphor we came up with was that of a frayed live wire, dangerously close to sparking its shock to others.

Megan was trying to do it all herself, and therefore had let her naturally extroverted energy turn in on itself.  What was needed was not to squelch the energy, but rather to neutralize its frenzy while better utilizing its natural flow.

Megan realized that her store manager Alana* was the perfect person to not only help manage the responsibilities Megan was taking on as all her own, Alana also had a calm and relaxed nature that Megan absorbed whenever she sat for meetings with her.  What a perfect resource!  She committed to meeting with her right away.

Seeking out and accessing resource in the form of others in your life is one of the most powerful transformational wellness coaching distinctions I can share with you.  Whenever you are stuck, blowing off your commitments, or confused by your own actions, stop and consider what resource—what provision—in the universe you could take advantage of. 

Examples of resources:

• Talking with a friend to shift your perspective (mental energy)
• Music or a piece of inspiring art to shift your mood (emotional energy)
• Exercise or deep breathing to shift your bodily sensations (physical energy)
• Prayer, meditation, or a gratitude list to shift your focus on what’s important (spiritual energy)

You can access any of these resources virtually anytime you need to.  But there’s something special about reaching out to others, especially your own inner circle.  It requires your posturing yourself in humility and vulnerability and making a request for support.  The thing is: We cannot do anything in life—from landing a job to getting in shape to being a loving parent or spouse—without the help of others. 

Even weight loss, which is often incorrectly assumed to be a solo task, requires: negotiation with your family as to what you’ll have for dinner, using the babysitting service at the gym while you work out, requesting accountability from a friend, etc.

Resourcing others by making specific requests is a way of reorienting your present circumstances in order to have the future (your vision) that you desire.  It is seeing the abundant opportunities before you, rather than the lack.  In fact, it is a brand-new—a transformational—way of standing in the world and acting on your life.  

‘No man is an island.’  The sooner we recognize this, the sooner we’ll be able to get out of our own ways. 

How will YOU resource others this week? 

-Posted by Certified Health & Wellness Coach Sarah Sutton 

*Names have been changed to protect privacy.